Dear FCC

Dear FCC:

Please don't give our airwaves to AT&T.

I really think that would be a bad idea.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Consider history."\\

Action Figures? Bosch!

Hieronymous Bosch action figures.

Thereby proving that you really can find anything on the Net.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Your search for prophecy and snark is at an end."\\

Employee Free Choice Act

The name sounds suspiciously benign.

But it turns out that it actually does make it easier for workers to organize.

Sounds good to me. Union members working union jobs is one of the foundations of the country where I was born.

The country I sincerely hope to return to one day.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You're so conservative."\\

Save Crisis Pregnancy Centers

Most crisis pregnancy centers perform noble service to women in difficult circumstances, women who often have nowhere else to turn. But they are in danger.

They're in danger of becoming like the worst of their kind: deceptive, manipulative, abusive operations that prey on the vulnerable.

Support legislation that can save crisis pregnancy centers from their own dark side, so they can continue to serve women instead of preying on them.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Who, me? I'm just a plastic ball with a floating doodad inside, what are you asking me for?"\\

The Paranoid Is Out To Get Us

WankNetDaily has issued a dire warning which is entirely correct.

Thereby demonstrating that even a clock which has one hand stopped and the other one moving intermittently, with a dial hand-painted with fourteen numbers including "umpteen" and "george" and not including "seven", is still right twice a lustrum.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Warning: do not attempt further metaphors until you have healed up from this one."\\

Pro-Life Legislation

That is, legislation which is in favor of real human lives, not hypothetical future ones.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Outlook dubious, but do it anyway."\\

Offshor Drilling -- Why Rush?

What's the hurry to drill for oil offshore?

We'll need that oil much more dearly in thirty years, and the extraction technology will be safer and more reliable than it is now.

So: No rush.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Consider your options carefully before acting."\\

Bush Derangement Syndrome

The term "Bush derangement Syndrome" is widely used online, but most people aren't using it correctly. As a public service, I'm reprinting here the definition of BDS from the DSM-IV (Derangement Syndromes Marketplace In Vienna):

Bush Derangement Syndrome: The inability to rationally assess the Presidency of George W. Bush.

Stage I: Belief that jointly impeaching Bush and Cheney would do the country more harm than leaving the administration in power (Equivalent to believing that the Holocaust was an elaborate hoax).

Stage II: Belief that someone other than Bush was the Worst. President. Ever. (Equivalent to believing that Bob Barker is stealing one's mail).


Stage III: Belief that Bush is an honorable and patriotic man who has made some mistakes (Equivalent to believing that drinking tea brewed in a lead-lined pot will cure lung cancer).

Stage III: Belief that tax cuts for the rich, abolishing the estate tax, privatizing Social Security, invading Iraq, detentions without trial, torture and unlimited Presidential power are the keys to peace, freedom and prosperity (Equivalent to believing that a boy has never wept nor dashed a thousand kim).

//The Magic eight-Ball says, "Gremlins eat red lemons."\\

Focus, People, Focus!

Focus on the Family is a toxic organization. Parents in non-heterosexual or non-nuclear families have fairly described it as "Your Family in Our Crosshairs".

But then there's the Focus on Family Health Act, which is different. Very, very different. As in, it's actually good for families.

I don't know about you, but I'm defintiely in favor of things that are good for families.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Thanks for clearing that up.\\

You Could Vote "No"

If you reall wanted to, you could vote "no" on the question, "Should Vice President Dick Cheney be impeached?"

Yes, you could.

If you wanted to.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Yes."\\